Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
the liver wants what the liver wants
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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