so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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