I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I've blown a few things in my day
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
