HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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