We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize