Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
