I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
