I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize