i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize