You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize