your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
