My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
