Pappa wants mamma naked
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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