U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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