whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
