not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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