this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
