I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
