no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He passed out mid-signature
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize