Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
