no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
