who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
