They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
