therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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