Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just invented taco cereal.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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