I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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