The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
thus making me awesome and them whores
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
