these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize