talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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