sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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