I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
