did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
