if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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