At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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