You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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