I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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