alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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