did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
