She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
