is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
