Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
