I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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