Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
