I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
