Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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