if i can run in heels then i can drive
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
