my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
