i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Houston, we have a squirter
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
