I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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