just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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