do herpes really smell.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
