I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
