I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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