Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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