Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
