Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
