Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
