btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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