on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
